Keep Your Love Relationship Alive, Hot and Fun!

My book, “Love From Both Sides – A True Story of Soul Survival and Sacred Sexuality,” tells the story of my husband dying in my arms and “coming back” to chat. Now you may be wondering, and how does that relate to “Rituals for Healthy Living?”

It does, because during my own marriage, I insisted on creating lots of simple rituals. For instance, even though my husband and I were both busy, (Dan was a lawyer and I was a screenwriter), we tried to eat dinner together whenever we could. I cooked, set the table and lit candles. I insisted that we enjoy the small moments. I also insisted that we actually set aside time to “be together.” We made dates to sit on the couch, light a fire, share a glass of wine. We talked, sometimes we even read poetry. In those quiet moments, we remembered why we got married.

And if I was lucky? I got a massage from his wonderful, blacksmith hands, and then we’d make love. And taking time to make “love” a ritual, rather than something that happened at the end of an exhausting day, or worse… something that didn’t happen because we just had no energy left, kept our love alive and the sex hot!

And what was amazing? Even though Dan would sometimes make fun of my fussiness, after he died, he thanked me for insisting that we “honor” what we had together. So ladies? You’ll love my book, because I got an apology! And appreciation. Better late, than never, right?

Creating a sacred ritual of your own might help to keep your love relationship alive, hot and fun! And that in turn will help your own health. (And it might help you lose weight, because you need high levels serotonin to lose weight, and sex is an easy way to get it!) Also according to the new brain research, the more sex you have, the better your brain functions! That’s good news, yes?

So why not start thinking about fun, sexy rituals? According to a wonderful article in the New York Times Sunday Magazine, (1/25/09), what really excites women (and creates lots of beneficial chemicals in her brain) … is being desired by her lover. So maybe dance for your lover… become a goddess, and create a fun sexy ritual that will help you live a healthy life!

~ Stephanie Riseley
www.stephanieriseley.com

Stephanie is participating in the WOW! Women On Writing Blog Tour for her book Love From Both Sides – A True Story of Soul Survival and Sacred Sexuality

Minimum Daily Dance Requirement - One Whole Song Every Day

Two of my favorite daily self-care rituals:
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1. My "MDDR" (Minimum Daily Dance Requirement). This is my tongue-in-cheek version of the "MDR" acronym, which stood for Minimum Daily Requirement in regard to vitamins and minerals). My MDDR is to dance at least one whole song every day. Just to be sure it always happens, I do it first thing upon rising in the morning. I love it!

2. "Three Nice Things." A while ago, I read about an experiment where participants (who were challenged by depression) took time every night to write down three nice things that happened to them that day. They also wrote about why they thought those things happened. The study found that this writing exercise markedly decreased symptoms of depression, and even after the participants had stopped doing the writing exercise for three months, the positive change in their mood still remained.

I thought that sounded like a great idea, depression or not. However, I didn't want the pressure of having to analyze the nice things that happened, and it felt like work to have to write anything down before bed. So I came up with my own version of the exercise.

Every night before I go to sleep, I think about three nice things that happened that day. Most days I remember many more than three things, but three is my minimum. Next, I think about three (or more) things I can do tomorrow that I know will make me and/or someone else feel good (the latter having the bonus of making me feel good as well, of course).

When I wake up the next morning, I don't let myself get out of bed until I do the ritual again. That is, I review the previous day and remember three nice things that happened. These can be the same things I thought about the night before, or different ones. After that, I think about three things I can do that day to make the day nicer (again, these can be the same things I thought about the night before, or different ones).

After doing the "Three Nice Things" ritual for while, I got hooked, because it's a sweet thing to do before and after dreamtime. I also noticed that it seems to help me go to sleep, which is a bonus. And it's a double bonus to drift off to sleep every night while thinking about nice things!

Over time, I've noticed that this simple ritual seems to be changing my ongoing daily thought patterns at deep-brain levels without further "efforting" on my part. In particular, I've noticed that my overall sense of gratitude and my focus on what's working (as opposed to what's not working) have both greatly increased. I mean, I've always been a grateful sort of person since I was a child. Even so, I strive to be even more appreciative of everyone and everything--and one of my goals in life is to experience gratitude as a constant state.

"Three Nice Things" has helped me tremendously in this regard, so I've made it part of my daily (and nightly) rituals for self-care. I don't know if my version of this exercise would have the same effect on another person's focus and "gratitude barometer," but who knows? Maybe the ripple effects for someone else might transport them to other equally lovely dimensions of life!

Cat Saunders
www.drcat.org

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So That My Body and Soul Get Juice

The 3 main rituals I have that are scheduled-type things are...

1. I cuddle with my dogs each morning right when I roll out of bed. I have a meditation space off our bedroom and I go sit on a cushion in there and they join me for belly rubbin and lovin. It's a sweet, gentle, delightful way to start my day. Some days it only lasts 30 seconds and some times we go on for a while.
2. I go to a yoga class 2-3 times a week. I try and pick classes that have a mind/body/spiritual component so that my body and soul get juice.
3. Every Thursday night my girlfriends and I get together. We alternate who makes the plans so sometimes it's a yoga class, happy hour, dinner, movies... having that close knit community of women is incredibly nourishing.
   

Other things that I do to fill me up daily are: laugh, dance, hug and kiss my beautiful mate, and listen to music.

~Cyn

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Family Rituals Creating a Physical and Emotional Glow

Funny you should ask. This has been a big new (or lots of little new) bit in my life. I have started to meditate 20 minutes every morning. I have dance 1x/week and yoga 1x/week plus I'm wearing a pedometer to help me raise my awareness of my activity level with a goal of 10,000 steps a day. This means at least one walk a day or a number of shorter ones. Good for spring weather.

To engage the whole family in better awareness and care of our bodies, I have used the game-generation approach and we have a Wii Fit board which engages with quite a bit of hilarity, a little competitiveness (I am the mother of two boys, remember, one of whom is a gamer who does not leave his chair.) For the last week every evening before dinner we play together. It has created both a physical and emotional glow.

ALl these things help me separate a bit from my work - so much less blogging and blog reading. It is interesting to see the teeter totter of our life's rhythms.

Nancy White
Photo by Nancy